How to get the most out of your private lessons

Private lessons tend to be more expensive per session than group classes. The personalized experience makes the price worthwhile, and can even be a better value than group lessons! Here's how to make sure you get the most out of your private lesson time.

1) Have a plan- and talk to your instructor before the lesson so they can also prepare for it. Going into a private lesson focusing on a single dance, style, or element will give you the quickest start.

2) write down any questions, comments, or focus points prior to your lesson and bring them with you.

3) have a short-term goal. If you are working toward a competition, performance, or wedding dance, it's always easier to keep that short term goal in mind as you learn and practice, rather than a nebulous "I want to be a good dancer."

4) practice what you worked on. Practice will open up new questions for your next session and it will also allow you to move on in your training rather than rehashing all the same information from the last private session.

5) dress for the occasion- wear athletic or dance attire to allow for the greatest  mobility during your lesson

5b) for wedding dances and closer to performance time- wear what you will actually wear or similar. If you will be performing in 4 inch stilettos, don't practice in flip flops. Get comfortable in the way your costume and shoes feel, how they affect movement, and if necessary, adjust your outfit or routine to suit.

Now let's add frame!

Frame- everybody has an idea of what a dance frame is supposed to be. Good, bad, and ugly, dancing saturates our media.

Different dances need different frames, with slight variations, and different dancers have their own preferences.

So let's talk through a good social dance frame- it's a generic frame, covering all the important points of contact, while still staying platonic.

Gentleman offers his left hand to the lady in the classic style, bringing it to the left, and equidistant between the partners with a comfortable bend in the elbow and hand about lady's eye level. The lady comes in to a distance that's comfortable for her. Socially the lady decides how close she wants to be- guy's, you can adjust her away for comfort, but not closer. As the lady comes into her position, she has her left arm stretched to the side, keeping her shoulder blade available via her underarm. The gentleman cups the lady's left shoulder blade with his right hand, lifting his wrist until it is connected to her armpit: tricep. Then AND ONLY THEN does the lady bend her left elbow to place her hand on the gentleman's shoulder, where his shoulder meets the bicep and tricep.

Things to avoid: 

Guys- avoid placing your hand on her waist. You lose your most useful point of contact (your wrist) and sacrifice a solid connection point, her shoulder blade, for her softer, less solid waist.

Ladies- keep those fingers closed and off his shoulder. 

Intro to connection

Dance is all about communication. Of course we create a visual expression of what we hear; but there is an element that transcends the way we relate to the music and hits home with how we relate to each other.

Partner dancing mirrors real life relationships in this way: communication must be clear to stay on the same page and create something beautiful. 

Regardless of the dance style, foxtrot, rumba, tango, or prom sway, communication is key.

As an introduction to communication, stand in front of your partner and hold hands at waist level, elbows bent about 90 degrees. The guy's hands are palms up or palms in and the lady's hands rest on top of the guy's hands, with slight weight in the wrists. (No T-Rex or begging puppy dog arms)

Lock your arms in place, so they only move when your bodies move. Don't squeeze your partners hands in the process. 

Since guys always start with the left foot and ladies always start with the right foot (after all, ladies are always....) get that foot free and give a quick tap on the ground to make sure it's free. The other foot does not move from its current position.

In this lead and follow exercise, the guy's in charge (which is something I like about dancing, though my wife always rolls her eyes as she says it's only for three minutes at a times). 

We are only stepping one of three directions and always returning to center/ neutral between each movement: forward, side, or back.

As the guy steps forward, the lady steps back. As the guy steps back, the lady steps forward. These are natural opposites. As the guy steps to the side, the lady steps in the same direction, mirroring his movement. 

The goal is for the guy to step in a direction Arand have the lady match the movement by feeling. 

After a few moments, we up the ante by having the lady close her eyes and repeating the exercise. After the exercise is finished, I always ask whether it was more difficult to lead and follow with the lady's eyes closed. 

It's interesting to hear the guesses, and it always boils down to this:

It's easier to lead and follow with the eyes closed. Although it's uncomfortable to remove your favorite sense (sight), it forces the lady to become hyper vigilant and to the touch, giving her a more responsive follow. 

At this point the couple is already moving as one!

Let's add frame!

Dancing: A life long journey, part 2

Frankie Manning, an early pioneer of Swing, created many of the acrobatic Swing moves that people still use to this day. When well-advanced in years (he danced up until his passing, a month shy of his 95th birthday), he was asked how to do a perfect basic, to which he replied, "I don't know; but I'll tell you when I get there."

For a man who spent years creating and perfecting a dance style, he probably had every right to suggest that he had achieved perfection. He understood, rather, that there would always be room for improvement, there would always be room for innovation, there would always be room for expansion.

The better a person gets and the more he learns about a particular subject, the more he realizes that there's even more to learn. Learning never stops.

Everyone who aspires to be a black belt (in martial arts), sees the rank as a final destination, a goal to achieve. Everyone who has achieved a black belt, understands that this rank is just the beginning of his martial arts education.

Dancing: A lifelong journey- part 1

When people begin dance classes, they invariably picture themselves as Fred Astaire or Ginger Rogers. They loved the grace and poise the couple possessed on the big screen; and they envision themselves with such elegance and style. But, as all people are inclined, we overlook the years of hard work and dedication, expecting to attain for ourselves this level of proficiency in a class or 6 easy lessons.

The truth is, as with anything worth doing, dancing takes time, practice, and dedication. That's how greatness (or even comfort) is achieved.

Besides having started his dance career at a young age, Fred Astaire was infamous for requiring perfection in his routines before anyone could see them.

They would spend weeks creating all the dance sequences in a secluded rehearsal space...

His perfectionism was legendary...

~Wikipedia~

A few practice tips:

A little practice goes a long way.

Don't think that you have to spend hours per day, practicing, to improve. (Just if you want to improve substantially.)

Practice your own steps alone before trying to dance with your partner. Once, a great dancer said: "What right do we have to ask someone else to dance when we cannot first dance ourselves."

Always focus on elements in your practices. don't simply run through patterns, but focus on one single aspect of each pattern that you would like to improve. This may seem tedious, but it's the best way to master technique.

Always practice your basics. Even re-taking a basic beginner's class can be a great way to improve or refresh- and certainly reinforce- good technique. Many great dance habits are developed through the basic patterns and actions in the dance. Many great dance habits are also forgotten once we begin working on more advanced steps. So always refresh your basics.

Overcoming fear

Peering from the dark corner of the dance club, as far from the dance floor as one could be, I watched all the fabulous dancers enjoying song after song.

Performance anxiety: I was far too new to dance to make it through a foxtrot or waltz without boring one of these ladies! How frustrating it was to watch and compare my own inadequacy to the style and grace of those who were smiling on the floor.

Then I caught out of the corner of my eye someone heading toward my dark corner. Oh no! She's going to ask me to dance with her! The first person to get a taste of my lacking dance skills.

I quickly apologized, including the disclaimer that I was just a beginner (a mantra that persisted for at least 2 years)

She replied with the standard response: everyone starts somewhere.

I won't lie- it's scary starting any new endeavor; especially one that carries the potential to put your mistakes and shortcomings in display- to have others reject you! But once you step past your thoughts and fears, you find that your fears are not largely realized.

The Perfect Circle

Many people who are interested in learning to dance have ideas of how they want to learn. Whether they want the economy and socialization of group classes or the discretion and personal attention in private lessons, set their sights on the goal and call a local studio.

Each avenue of dancing has its benefits, its shortcomings, and its place in the perfect circle.
~Group lessons are great for meeting new friends and learning to lead and follow while gaining a basic understanding of a dance or pattern. Because of the nature of group lessons, they cannot be individually tailored.
~While private lessons offer much flexibility in pace and material (that's being taught), it cannot offer access to a variety of partners. So private lessons cannot instill the practical practice of leading and following in a class atmosphere.
~Dance parties are great for practice and socialization. Dance parties, however, are no place to learn patterns. There's just not enough time!!



Private Lessons- Accommodates your schedule, allows to speed through patterns faster than group classes or slow down to dwell on important issues, can cover more in-depth material than groups, discrete and private

Group Lessons- Lots of fun learning with others who are in the same boat (same level and experience), run through patterns in a particular dance style, least expensive option, great for hands-on lead/follow learning and practice

Dance Parties- Practice! Practice! Practice!, variety of great music, free snacks (usually), less expensive than a movie, fun with other dance enthusiasts, the best way to validate your time and money spent on lessons

There is no "one best way" to learn to dance. The only best way is to take all three and combine them into a synergistic program that works like this: Attend a group class to learn a pattern. Take a private lesson to learn the best way to enhance or embellish your new pattern. Go to a dance party and practice (show off) your newly-polished pattern.

These are not the only considerations- just a few things to think about when deciding how best to hop into dancing on the right foot (excuse the pun).
Happy dancing!